Thank you to Brene Brown.
Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection.
1. Perspective taking, the ability to take the perspective of another person.
2. Staying out of judgment.
3. Recognizing emotion in other people and then communicating that. Empathy is feeling WITH people. Empathy is this sacred space.
Empathy is a choice, and it's a vulnerable choice, because in order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.
Sympathy is agreeing with the person's circumstances versus agreeing with their emotional state or sacred interior, sacred because it's been kept to themselves.
"At least" belittles both the context for the grief as well as the emotional trauma attached to it. It's trying to spin the defeat into some other person's version of victory in an attempt to silver line it.
"I had a miscarriage."
"At least you know you can get pregnant."
"I think my marriage is falling apart."
"At least you have a marriage."
"John's getting kicked out of school."
"At least there is an A student."
One of the things that we do in the face of difficult situations is to try to make things better. Better to say, "I don't even know what to say right now, I'm just glad you told me." The truth is that rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.
This one is good too.
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