Your grandfather didn't marry your grandmother because they liked the same movies. He looked for green flags most men can't see anymore - because everyone's too busy avoiding red ones. Yes. Red-flags are useful. But they're defensive. They don't optimize for selecting the RIGHT woman. Only avoiding the wrong ones. They'll filter out disasters. But they don't select for character. That's why you pick a woman who has everything you want on paper, but transforms into everything you hate during conflict. And not all green-flags are equal. Some are non-negotiable. Some are flexible. Others are noise. Your grandfather's generation knew these instinctively. TIER 1 - CHARACTER (NON-NEGOTIABLES) • How she handles stress, disappointment, conflict • Accountability vs. blame-shifting when things go wrong • Emotional regulation (not ABSENCE of emotions - her regulation of it) • How she treats people who can do nothing for her Character is how someone acts in their day-to-day life. It has nothing to do with her values. Women either pass this test, or they fail it. My grandfather took care of my grandmother for 3 years as she struggled with dementia. He did it because he'd watched her character for decades. He knew who she was when things got hard. That's what you're looking for. Once character is established, you look at alignment. TIER 2 - VALUES ALIGNMENT • Desire for kids • Financial philosophy • Career priorities • Family involvement • Importance of fitness • Religious/spiritual beliefs Character is who she is. Values are what she WANTS. On these you want broad alignment, not identical opinions. For example, it's more important you both want kids. If she wants 4 and you want 2? Workable. She wants none, you want some? Dealbreaker. Your grandfather talked to her parents. Saw her in the community. Asked if she wanted children. He knew he wasn't looking for a girlfriend. He was looking for a woman to invest the rest of his life into. Do the same. Everything else falls below these two tiers. TIER 3 - NOISE • Shared hobbies • Music taste • Social status • Career prestige • Physical "type" These are things that FEEL important, but predict nothing. You don't want to get too focused onto societal checklists. These are all STATUS signals. Not investment cues into a life-long marriage. Society's criteria aren't yours. Your grandfather didn't care if his wife liked jazz. He cared if she'd carry his legacy. But how do you see this before you commit? Time is the only real test. As you spend time dating and in a relationship, natural pressures will form. Travel delays. Family events after a 4-hour drive. Plans falling apart. You're looking for patterns on her behaviour - not just momentary reactions. Look at the signals her relationships with family and friends give you. Don't fall for online discourse about creating "tests" for this. These "tests" will occur naturally over time. You don't need to force them. But you do need to see her sick, stressed, tired and angry before you propose. You're the result of your grandfather's marriage. He raised children who raised you. Created a legacy that you're a part of. He did it by knowing what to look for. Now you do too. Get this right once.Your grandfather didn't marry your grandmother because they liked the same movies.
— Jack Peach | Dynastic Dating (@ThinkInPeach) January 9, 2026
He looked for green flags most men can't see anymore - because everyone's too busy avoiding red ones.
Yes. Red-flags are useful.
But they're defensive. They don't optimize for selecting the… pic.twitter.com/jKUSzDLRMM
Build a life your grandchildren will thank you for.
