DAVID BURGE: This hilarious French dude is a modern day Alexis de Tocqueville, and Texas is blessed to have him.

This hilarious French dude is a modern day Alexis de Tocqueville, and Texas is blessed to have him https://t.co/puCYZIAtrX

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) February 26, 2026

I spent some time in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and I'm ready to publish my psychiatric evaluation.  

DFW is not a metropolitan area.  It's a financial coat built on top of a 16 Lane Highway.

Let's start with Dallas.  Dallas is basically Dubai, but the women have bigger hair and everyone is heavily armed.  It's a massive plastic surgery clinic floating on an oil spill.  And the cars, everyone drives a lifted 6-ton military grade assault truck.  Are they crossing a desert?  Are they invading a country?  No.  They're going to the Chick-fil-A drive-thru. Calm down Brenda.  You're driving a Panzer tank to buy a chicken sandwich in yoga pants.  

And how do they wash away the sins of this extreme capitalism?  They go to a mega church.  In France, our churches are 800 years old, freezing cold, and designed to make you feel terrible about yourself.  In Dallas, a church is a Las Vegas casino for Jesus.  it's a stadium with 15,000 seats, 3 coffee shops, a gift shop, and a Jumbotron screen.  The pastor wears a $20,000 Rolex and arrives in a private helicopter paid for by oil money to teach you about humility.  It's literal hypnosis.

And then to escape the plastic, you drive 30 minutes to Fort Worth this is where the real oil money hides Fort Worth is a city entirely dedicated to poverty cosplay.  You see a guy at the bar and he smells like a farm animal.  His jeans are destroyed.  He looks like a medieval peasant who just survived the plague.  Do not give him a dollar.  This is Earl.  Earl owns 500 oil wells, a private jet, and he could legally buy your entire bloodline in cash.  And all of this insanity exists for one reason: oil.  

In Europe to get rich, you need a 400-years-old family Empire or a PhD in physics.  And still it's difficult.

In Texas, a guy just taps the dirt with a metal pipe, the Earth bleeds a toxic black juice and boom he suddenly a billionaire and buys his third wife a brand new face.. So, if you want culture, go to Paris, but if you want to watch a billionaire dressed like a homeless man, drink a Starbucks inside a holy Stadium, welcome to Dallas-Fort Worth.  

God bless Texas.