"I have a fear of loss."
"I have a fear of being hurt."
"I have a secret shame that I am putting onto someone else."
"A hidden or secret fear that's coming to the surface."
HOW TO DEAL WITH A BULLY
You can choose to open a bully more, that's socially opening, or closing them down more. Those are the only 2 options you really have. And I would always default to de-escalation. There are very rare instances a strong and sometimes drastic increase in escalation can solve the problem but those are few and far between.
One-liners to deal with bullies:
"I am truly and very sorry for whoever hurt you."
"I'm very sorry that you got hurt but it isn't me that makes you feel small, I can promise you."
"Does it make you feel bigger or just more accepted by people when you do this?"
"Whoever hurt you, I promise it wasn't me."
"You know we all have a lot going on back at home and some of us, I guess, just take the pain to school and some don't."
"What's going in for you that you're turn into this person. I know that you're a lot nicer than this. You're a better person than this."
"No one's going to be hurt if you're just nice to people. Are you worried that you're going to be hurt if you're nice to people or just kind?"
"I can promise you, all of these people will still think you're cool if you just be yourself."
"Am I the first person of the day that you did this to?"
"I can promise you that people will still think you're cool/tough if you just act normally."
"Did your parents teach you this or is there somebody who hurt you?"
"I don't know who hurt you to act like this but I promise that it wasn't me."
"You really don't seem like the kind of person to lose control of yourself that easily. Is something wrong?"
"You don't seem like the kind of person to hurt other people for no reason. Is there something going on?"
"You really don't seem like the kind of person to act like a kindergartner. Something has to be wrong."
"You don't really seem like the kind of person to behave like a child. Is something going on? Is something wrong?"
"I know that this is the part that my question is awkward, or pretend that it's weird that I'm asking so that people will laugh, but . . . ."
Now we're in the process of pulli g that behavior, whatever that person's doing we're pulling that behavior where everyone can inspect it. So if they're acting really loud and obnoxious to be tough, we're going to complement them on how tough they look to other people so that it looks ridiculous.
"I know that this is the part that my question is awkward, or pretend that it's weird that I'm asking so that people will laugh, but . . ." because I'm sure you wont do that because you don't copy what other people do in the movies but X, Y, Z . . ."
