Monday, September 26, 2022

41 PSYCHOLOGICAL HACKS? TOO MANY? HACK #3: Look into someone’s eyes when you don’t trust their answer

Some tried and true psychology hacks that actually work from Food Is In The House.  Some you already know and are a practiced veteran.  So if they work, keep on using them.  ; -)

HACK #1: Use silence when in a verbal altercation

People get very uncomfortable with silence, and usually try to fill it with nervous rambling. So if you’re in a verbal altercation, someone is being rude and you’re not sure how to get the upper hand – just don’t say anything.

The other person will become more nervous by your silence, ramble (or yell) even more, and make themselves look worse in the process. You will come out looking like the mature and composed one, and they will most likely feel really silly once they’ve calmed down

Yes, making yourself appear more mature is always a winner, but it also depends on the topic.  I would say think this technique works use this technique in a few situations: one, if you have an audience; two, if the person is rude; three, if they already have a reputation at work of being a complainer.  The first two are key: rude and you have an audience.  If it's just you and the other person, then I only if there is

HACK #2:  How to tell who likes who the most

If you’re in a group of people who all know each other, like friends or colleagues, pay attention to who they look at when you’re all laughing. If someone is telling a funny story or a joke, people tend to automatically make eye contact with whomever they feel the closest to. 

That one is good and definitely worth your attention.  But bear in mind,

the opposite is also true. If everyone is laughing and you notice no one is making eye contact with you, chances are you’re the least popular of the group…

HACK #3: Look into someone’s eyes when you don’t trust their answer. 

If you ask someone a question, and don’t like or understand their answer – look into their eyes and just pause instead of asking more questions. This will make them feel a little pressured, and they will then be compelled to explain or elaborate on whatever they just said. 

HACK #4: Give yourself less choices when struggling to make a decision

We think we make better choices when we have as many options as possible, but plenty of research has proved the opposite is actually true. Too many options overwhelm and paralyze us, which makes us miserable.  

Yeah, on this one, I have to disagree.  We're all operating on limited information.  More information can cloud the decision, but also more information allows us to make fewer bad decisions.  Take the topic of price for example.  If you know that one mechanic is charging you $500 for a brake job and another is charging you $350, more information here is better.  When it comes to work decisions, the choice can be a challenge, particularly if you've got deadlines tied to choices.  If you can't decide, then don't.  Buy yourself some time.  Say, "I will get back to you on that," and then on your own time, perhaps with someone you trust, invite someone to help you work through the decision, the risks, short and long term risks, the unseen risks as well.  Some might complain that you're analyzing the decision too much.  Tell them to get lost.  It's not their decision, it's yours.  It affects you.  True, other will learn of your decision, so it will reflect on you. But I don't like the idea of reducing your choices just to make the decision making process easier.  Easier in the short-term perhaps, but the long-term is always a factor with any decision.  So keep that in mind.  

HACK #5:  How to ace that first date.

First dates?  Oy.  Not easy.  I would say be kind.  Demonstrate some excitement, fascination, and wonder with the event; that way, if things don't go well with your date, at least you can procure a great time for yourself.  That's not to say to be narcissistic, it only means to create interest in things, people, and the time you spend.  

This is true, 

A psychological phenomenon known as “misattribution of arousal” means that people mislabel what’s getting them excited. So if you pick an exciting activity for a date, like an escape room or theme park, the excitement of the activity will rub off on your date’s impression of you. 

HACK #6: Make someone rude become self-conscious.

Be careful that this attempt doesn't come off as pedantic or condescending.  Most people who want to turn a moment into a teaching moment are obnoxious.  But their recommended hack is hysterical.  Check it out: 

If someone is yelling at you, and you need them to stop immediately, just cut them off by saying “hey, I think you have something stuck in your teeth”. This will make them stop abruptly, and feel super self-conscious and awkward instead of angry at you. It will also most likely mean they excuse themselves to go find a mirror. 
This trick should be used as a last resource, as it’s of course better to handle a situation like this with mature, calm communication. 

Yeah, ya think?  

HACK #7: Ask for a favor by saying "I need your help"

People enjoy feeling needed, and also hate feeling guilty. You can use this to your advantage, by being mindful of how you phrase asking for a favor. Instead of just saying “can you do this?”, start by saying “I need your help”
This makes the request more personal, and using the word “help” reduces the likelihood of them saying no. The more personal approach makes them feel needed, and denying giving help to someone is guilt inducing.   

Oh, brother.  Some of these really sound like psychological tips for high-schoolers.  God help us.  But maybe that's exactly where most people are: they're resolving protracted grievances experienced from high school years.  

HACK #8:  How to look confident at a party

This is a great tip for all you introverts out there. If you find mingling at parties super awkward, chances are you also look very uncomfortable and insecure. This will decrease the chance of people approaching you, and of you then actually having fun. 

Okay, this reads more like a true hack:  

One way to look more open, friendly, and confident in a situation like this, is to make sure you’re not holding your drink up by your chest. Instead, try to casually hold it down by your hip. Works like a charm!

HACK #9:  Pretend to be open-minded to win people over.

I can't tell you how many times I'd heard people say, "Don't judge" or "Suspend judgment."  Okay, for a certain age.  And it's true that no one likes being prejudged, yet people the world over do it all the time.  

It’s easier said than done to be open-minded, and most of us aren’t as accepting of different opinions as we’d like to think. But faking it also works.

HACK #10: Look at someone’s lips to show them you’re interested

We’re not saying you should intently stare at someone’s lips, that will make them feel uncomfortable. But a few glances once in a while, and letting them see you’re doing it, is a good way to signal your interest while on a date.

It depends on how you look at someone.  You can look at someone with your words, with a certain attitude.  In other words, look at someone with interest, attentive interest.  Prolonged looks of any kind can turn your intention into its opposite.  Some people don't like being stared at.  In fact, staring is a sign of hostility, and that's not good for anyone. 

There are a few more that you can check out for yourself.  Keep reading, and best wishes with your rapport-building skills.  

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