This was okay.
HOW TO AOID BEING MANIPULATED
by Chase Hughes
One, never explain yourself under pressure. [Doing so] automatically means submission. You might want to fire back with, "You know, I don't think you meant to, but that question is designed to put me in a position of justifying myself and that's not a role I'm going to take right now." [Frankly, that sounds like a weak retort.]
Two, never argue about your motives. Just don't do it. Just openly call it out, like, "Well, the way you said that puts me into a place of defending what kind of person I am." [Again.]
Three, never take the bait on any character question, any character question at all, like never argue about who you are.
Four, never apologize just to de-escalate ever. If you're in with a manipulator, the apology they're trying to force out of you is an admission of guilt, not saying that you're going to fix anything.
Five, never match emotion to prove your point. Never match somebody's intensity. [This was good advise.]
Six, never accept somebody else's language without precision. So words like "disrespect" or "abuse" or "betrayal," they can totally hijack a narrative. So you might just say, "Those words all carry some kind of frame, and if I accept those words, what you just said, I'm not speaking for myself anymore. So that's a big one. [Again, weak reply. Why reply at all?]
Seven, never accept any binary traps. Like either "yes or no." The either, or question. There's always nuance to it and always seek specificity. Always get into specifics. "When you said this, what specifically did you want to talk about? Always go back to their intention. Like what was your intention? What's the ideal outcome here for you?"
Eight, never try to win through just logic.
No comments:
Post a Comment