to suggest that a narcissist is at fault brings with it accountability. Accountability is a shackle, and therefore it's a shackle on control.

Who is HG Tudor?  A self-avowed narcissistic psychopath.  Doesn't mean we can't learn from him.  Let him tell it in his own words. 

they are seeking to control their child through illness or injury and they are trying to control medical practitioners by getting them to provide a particular diagnosis and to prescribe possibly medicine or undertake particular procedures. They're showing no accountability for their behavior. They're showing a sense of entitlement to treat the child and the medical professionals in this manner. They're also objectifying that child because they're just treating them as their tool to get to what they require. As I've explained comprehensively in two videos Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy is invariably the behavior of a narcissist that uses the excuse of a child supposed illness as a means of getting fuel for themselves, controlling that child, controlling medical professionals, controlling family members and to do so it shows an absence of emotional empathy. --HD Tudor

4:35. Narcissism in the locus of control.  I sometimes consider narcissists not accepting a locus of control or or living a life with an external locus of control that nothing is their fault unless it's something decent can you elaborate or am I completely off the, my rocker?

4:57. The issue of fault drives at the heart of control.  So to suggest that a narcissist is at fault brings with it accountability.  Accountability is a shackle, and therefore it's a shackle on control.  So that's why the narcissist must never, ever be allowed to admit any kind of accountability.  Even where you get some kind of admission from a narcissist, it isn't genuine.  Usually you'll end up with a flat denial or you'll end up with the "blah . . . blah . . . blah . . . blah . . . blah" apology, but which of course as we all know everything that came before the "but" becomes meaningless.  So you end up with instances where the narcissist appears to be apologizing, appears to be accepting they've done something wrong, but if you look at it carefully and clearly you'll find that they're not.   So, a common one, for instance, is to say "I'm sorry that you are upset." That's not an admission.  "I'm sorry that you feel that way," and all those weasel words that are being issued to the recipient into thinking the narcissist is showing some form of contrition, etcetera, but it's not. Accordingly, when it comes to the issue of control, there can't be any accountability because accountability by its very nature shackles control and that must not happen.

6:20. No you were talking about the weasel words and I always find I find those infuriating and funny the "non-apology" apologies where it's actually even worse than not apologizing because it's placing the blame on the other.

6:39. Yes, that's easily done because from the narcissist's perspective, the other person is at fault. You've got to remember, you see, that when you have the narcissist and the non-narcissist having an interaction, an unaware and narcissist does not see it in the same way as the non-narcissist.  They see it in an edited version through a distortion field.  So the unaware narcissist does not do this, "I know I'm at fault but, sod it, I'll accuse them anyway.  What actually happens is the unaware narcissist goes "I know I'm not at fault," because the way that they see the world tells them that they're not at fault, and the way that they see the world it's the other person's fault so when they accuse another person it's because they're seeing the world that way so it's a genuine accusation that their issuing.

7:37.  Is the narcissist ever at fault?

7:41. It all depends upon perspective if you were to look at it from The Narcissist perspective the answer is no but if you were to look at it from somebody else's perspective you would probably get a group of people that would reach and Accord and say yes they are at fault so what you have is what I talk about is a majority perspective that certain people have all evolved in a similar way that they see the world in a similar way that they have a similar moral Outlook and therefore that becomes the prevailing view for morals and standards and laws and invariably the narcissist Falls foul of that because their worldview doesn't Accord with majority one

17:35. I think there is force in that suggestion that there is a move away from allowing children to express imagination and instead people are making the decisions for them that they can't be what they want to be and that they substitute what is Imagination with validation.  And as you made the point straight away you can pretend to be these things it's all part of being a child and growing up but now no you're not pretending that's what you actually are and that's dangerous. 

18:18. Not to mention confusing. Because just like participation trophies they may pull the routine and say we're going to play this game, soccer, and we're not keeping score.  What?  

18:37. What's the point?

18:40. The kids are the kids are keeping score in their mind they know that one team scored two goals and they didn't score any so we can dress it up anyway we like but that right there to me is telling them and enforcing a lie from the get-go.  

18:55. Well, it is, and of course, often what's behind this are certain narcissists that get themselves in these positions where they actually think that they are kind; they think they're empathic; they think they are compassionate.  And what they do is they think by telling everybody that everybody is a winner, that everybody wins because they participated.  They think that that is being kind, when in actual fact they're enforcing an unrealistic outcome on a group of people.  In other words, they're controlling them by saying you can't make a determination as to what a win is; you are not allowed to make a determination as to the number of goals scored; I'm telling you the under the auspices of being kind and considerate. And we don't need to be competitive because being competitive is nasty behavior on Wall Street and we don't want to be and we don't want people saying, "Lunch is for wimps," and all this type of thing, and "if you want a friend, get a dog."  It's about we're all in this together.  But in actual fact, they are not; what you find is with those particular individuals, many of whom are narcissists, they're very good at prescribing to everybody else how they should behave and the minute that you criticize them, you are not allowed to do so.  So everybody is allowed to express a view except when it criticizes them;  everybody has to play nice apart from them; they're allowed to insult people and then in effect, they are allowed to go on suddenly and score the last goal, and go "I'm the winner!"

20:35. Taking that narcissistic degree I'm very concerned about parents who enable children to make medical decisions that will affect the rest of their lives and I actually considered a form of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy and why I see that is Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy is where parents or a caretaker whatever will cause harm to any kind of external means could be poison could be neglect could be treatment and then they draw sympathy by being this heroic figure who is caring for another individual they're so wonderful and they have to deal with so much do you think I'm off base in that comparison.

21:34. Not at all.  I actually created a couple of videos addressing that very topic and explaining how when you have that individual who is supposedly the carer and there is a situation of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, also known as fictitious disorder, imposed on another, these days my preference is Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy.  Now what have you got you got an individual that is not showing any emotional empathy for that child because they're in inducing in that child illness and injury in order to draw attention.  What is that attention?  That attention is fuel.  They are showing that they are seeking to control their child through illness or injury and they are trying to control medical practitioners by getting them to provide a particular diagnosis and to prescribe possibly medicine or undertake particular procedures.  They're showing no accountability for their behavior.  They're showing a sense of entitlement to treat the child and the medical professionals in this manner.  They're also objectifying that child because they're just treating them as their tool to get to what they require.  As I've explained comprehensively in two videos Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy is invariably the behavior of a narcissist that uses the excuse of a child supposed illness as a means of getting fuel for themselves, controlling that child, controlling medical professionals, controlling family members and to do so it shows an absence of emotional empathy.  And similarly, where they are allowing a child, who does not know their own mind, to make medical decisions decisions themselves, particularly in relation to "Am I a boy? Or am I a girl?" and the treatments associated with all of that.  Once again allowing a child to make such decisions shows absence of emotional empathy, it shows a lack of accountability because there's a parental abrogation of responsibilities and duties towards that child; furthermore, it is demonstrative of the fact that by allowing them to make those decisions they are in fact actually controlling them, because they want them to do that,so it garners attention, what I call fuel for the narcissist. Not only do I see that it is the behavior where allowing children to make such decisions as Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome but I also see and I'm very firm on this point the majority of individuals that can engage in that behavior or narcissists for the reasons that I've just explained.

24:19.  

He's got some very interesting titles.

1.  Getting Out.  How to Prepare to Leave the Narcissist, HG Tudor, 2015.

2.  Revenge: How to Beat the Narcissist, HG Tudor, 2016. 

3.  Smeared: Knowing and Beating the Narcissist's Campaign, HG Tudor, 2016.

4.  Sitting Target: How and Why the Narcissist Chooses You, HG Tudor, 2016.

5.  Why?  Understanding the Narcissist's Behavior, HG Tudor, 2016.

6.  Total Confessions of a Narcissist, HG Tudor, 2016.  Check out some of the quotes from this book.

7.  No Contact: How to Beat the Narcissist, HG Tudor, 2016. 

8.  Exorcism: Purging the Narcissist from Heart and Soul, HG Tudor, 2016.  

9.  Sex: How the Narcissist Views Sex and The Role It Plays in Your Entanglement, HG Tudor, 2016.

10.  Chained: The Narcissist's Co-Dependent, HG Tudor, 2015.

This one is not by HG Tudor, but I liked the title so much that I wanted to include it in this post, Divorcing and Healing from a Narcissist: Emotional and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery.  Co-Parenting After an Emotionally Destructive Marriage and Splitting Up with a Toxic Ex, Dr. Teresa J. Covert, 2019.