— St. Michael, the Archangel (@aveng_angel) November 29, 2025
Someone who can't be accountable is not cruel. They're drowning in shame. They grew up where mistakes weren't corrected, they were punished with shame, where doing something wrong meant you're bad, you're wrong, you're a bad child, and you ruined everything. So now admitting their faults feels like total annihilation, like saying" I'm sorry" proves that they were always the problem. And here's what no one tells you. Their apology won't heal you because someone who needs accountability is carrying another wound, a wound where you felt unseen, unheard, and dismissed. Your pain was twisted. Your reality was denied. So when someone can't own their behavior now, it reopens this very original wound. For myself, it was my mother, never accountable, always twisted the facts, always the victim. So I held that silent wish that many kids have. If she could just admit it, I would feel safe and seen, and that wish becomes the wound. The wound then becomes the trigger. Every time someone I loved refused accountability because they were too much in their shame as well, I was upset about that moment. I was back in my childhood as a little boy begging to be seen. You're not really waiting for their apology. You're waiting for the permission to trust yourself. The healing is not in what they say, it's in meeting the part of you that is still waiting to be believed and that means beginning to feel through your own emotions and meet that child inside yourself.
I really don't like this concept of "finding the inner child." The language is too simplistic, too psychobabble, and infantile. The idea of authentic self is better; the child concept is time locked, whereas authentic self is fluid that involves your creativity, your imagination, your work arounds, your problem solving skills, pointing to your skills as a warrior where you've been tested, contested, bested, your valor sharpened.
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