The 6 human needs are significance, acceptance, and approval, intelligence, pity, and strength.
SIGNIFICANCE
So if you're in a conversation just one-on-one with a person within three to five minutes they're going to start revealing a lot of those things. Not just through their clothing. And you might see super tight fitting shirts or like crazy outlandish things, like adding to themselves, like my hair is way bright neon color. I've got some weird shirt on. So we know that person from 100 yards away. We know that person is significance driven. They need to feel significant and that has to be reflected by other people. And you'll also hear them say how they've managed lots of teams, how they've mentored lots of people, how they're in charge of hundreds of people at the company they work for, or how everybody kind of seeks them out for advice.
ACCEPTANCE
Then we have the acceptance people. And the acceptance people are typically used terms like "we," "us," "our." They'll talk about groups and membership. They'll talk about being at a company and talking about like all the sales team there, everybody goes out on Thursday nights. We had a great time. We all get along together. So they'll talk about teams and groups.
APPROVAL
And then we get into approval. And approval people are more likely to seek permission. So they're more likely to seek some kind of reassurance from you. They might say something like I've got to give a speech on Thursday but I know, I just know I'm going to suck at it. I know everybody's going to hate it, just so like you Francesca you'd be like, "Oh, no, no. You're going to do great. You did great last time and everybody loves it when you speak on stage. You're great." And that would be more the approval.
INTELLIGENCE
And then we have intelligence. You see people wearing the Harvard University t-shirts and sweatpants, all these things that convey . . . . Or, in a conversation, they'll say I published a bunch of papers on that. You're going to hear them say like, "I remember when I was at X University," or "I'm a professor of X," or "I got my degree in X as an expert in X, Y, and Z." You'll hear a lot of that.
PITY (OR HERO'S JOURNEY)
And pity. We think that pity really wants us to hear them complain. And pity is where we make a lot of mistakes. We hear people complaining about their life and traffic and all this, like our friends bitching about sitting in traffic for an hour or two. And our instinct is to say like, "Oh, you know it's not that bad. You know, like you put on a good audiobook, or do something that benefits you during all this traffic." They don't want to hear that at all. They want us to understand how bad they've had it and what they've been through. So it's Journey. Everybody wants us to comment and recognize their own Hero's Journey. That's basically what needs are those needs are.
STRENGTH
And then the strength. We have people that are posturing, puffing up the chest, and we have all manner of behavior that we could do from this. And we all have one of these six, and the moment that we learn the predominant needs that someone has its usually two of the six. If I know it's a significance person, I automatically understand that they're insecurity is feeling insignificant. Instantly. And this is 3 minutes I know more about their deep insecurities than their friends and family. In 3 minutes just from listening to basic phrases, and this is the preschool level of this and it's still more advanced than most programs out there. If I know that it's acceptance, and that's their primary social need, I instantly understand that the hidden insecurities that that person has is about being rejected, being outcast, being kind of exiled from a tribe, and feeling not belonging. So a lot of what we're really looking at here are what was the needs or typically what's missing in childhood and that's kind of what we're seeing when it comes to a person.
